Today I spoke of love and happiness. The feeling when one knows who they are and rejoices in the fact that attaining perfection is pointless. My heart was full today. In fact... I thought the sun was shining and it was cloudy. It FELT like the sun was shining and now I am convinced that it was my heart. Today I understood and was understood, that feeling when you know that you are not alone in your thoughts and don't suffer the weight of keeping those ideas deep inside when they desire to take flight. This will sound crazy for some but we humans have achieved nothing in about 2000 years, nothing that really matters. Everything that has been positive has come with a negative and mostly what has changed has been our bathing habits and our work ethic. For this reason, I would like to see a change during my lifetime. If extraterrestrials are found, I won't be scared but joyous for Earth will move from it's stagnant state of one mass garbage tip with palm trees and snow to ... a new level. It would be one of many. So many movies picture these aliens as warfaring creatures who want to take over our planet yet it is possible that only humans have been so destructive within their own race that we are the only beings that have thought and carried through warfare. Eskimos have so many words for snow... what if aliens have no words to symbolize war and peace because harmony is all they could comprehend? I would be ashamed if Humans were remembered for that one cruel quality; that we could kill our own brethren and feel some sort of satisfaction, that someone had been protected. The truth is that when ones home is protected, another's is left vulnerable. As my dear friend ended our conversation:

There is no black and white.

I went to visit my mother this Christmas with some apprehension in my soul about who I was and who I wanted to be. The fact is that I have never been close to stereotypical for my age and occasionally feel ostracized for it (I have a perfect example from a date last week if anyone wishes to hear it!) In short, it was a silent evening just after Christmas when I spoke of this to my mother. She turned to me and said that from my early childhood, she had seen that I had an old soul. Somehow, my mind interpreted things differently from my peers. Most importantly, I could feel she admired me for it. That I was capable of dealing with it and that, she felt, I had dealt with it so well while struggling though my adolescence.
I live with another old soul.
It is so gratifying to know that there is one person near me who can hear the words I've left unsaid and understands what I say with my eyes without misinterpretation. This summer my heart was empty because I was alone with my thoughts. When they build up they cut off my ability to communicate well - I can only focus on the thoughts and the feelings and the mass build up serves as a plug and confuses me. My heart swelled with joy so few times this summer... it was too full of confusion.
I feel calm now. She smiled and I saw and felt warmth flow in to my heart. She knows something about me. She, as an old soul, knows things mine does not and vice versa. Thankfully, I know she knows.

PS: I'm learning to say "I love" out loud.