There always seems to be so much to say and then once you sit down to write it... there isn't.

Maybe I'm just so stupid as to not realise what really is and what isn't important or.... I just don't know. It may also be because I'm tired (trying to sleep sitting up is difficult) and I'm still waiting for antibiotics to kick in. Whatever the reason..... aah, the reason. I'm tired.

I think this illness has just taken it out of me completely. Any energy I had left to keep my head up in London has just vaporised and now I feel I need to go home. I need to recharge my batteries and be in a place where I know people are waiting for me. It's so sweet how my brother and Dad can't wait for me to arrive - I haven't seen my brother for three months!!! I really miss him. And then after the brief trip to Estonia, I will jet off to the other side of the world to see my mother for Christmas. Hopefully that will be a bit of rest as well before I begin work and then back here.

There's just two unwritten essays keeping me from home. One of my drugs: give me energy to write them this weekend!!!

With Christmas in my heart,

Heili