After emergency midnight call to best friend... I'm beginning to realise that though prematurely, this must be a mid-life crisis which I am going through. No, even better... I'm not going through it, it's stuck on me like bloody treacle.

ok, here goes

1) No relationship. I know it sounds pathetic and un-feminist, but I happen to like the company of someone who thinks I'm great and isn't afraid of public displays of affection

2) My computer contains only sad music. I listen to love songs, depression songs, folk songs.... all god damn day long.

3) I can't believe I only listen to music on my computer. If I thought #1 was pathetic.... try not actually having my stereo plugged in bc I NEVER USE IT. I'm so ashamed.

4) My school work has gone down the drain. No different from before... however this time, I couldn't care less either. Bad bad bad bad combination.

5) I find myself flirting with people I have no business flirting with. For instance my friends ex. I didn't even realise I was doing it. Fuckity fuck. He wasn't the only one either :( I feel like a tart. A strawberry one.

6) I'm a lying bitch: I never actually intend to be on time. I like being late bc it gives me more time to get ready. Sub-consciously of course.

7) You know you're pathetic when you're using the same tactics you used in grade school to get male attention.

8) You know you're pathetic when you need male attention.

9) I've been taking swigs of Vana Tallinn from the bottle "conveniently" placed in my room. And it's not naughty any more bc I'm legally allowed to do it. The world is coming to an end.

10) I can't believe I'm already at 10. I haven't done laundry in 2 weeks, and my dryer has now stopped working. Shit.

11) I haven't read a non-school book since June. Which basically means that my idle braincells are simply more apt to embarrass me.

12) This all comes back to my ability to embarrass myself in public, most often, in front of the opposite sex. Which brings me back to point 1

13) which for the sake of depression, we'll RE-PUBLISH as point 13. Men. I hate you. Buggers. And my concenration is shot to beans bc of certain buggers who demand so much of it. No, I refuse to blame myself bc then I'd have to do something about it.



Baaaaaasically....... i think I need a really long, deep, lovely chat on teh phone all about life and why I've been so unsuccessful at achieving my goals recently. This isn't like me. In fact...... this is the me that I don't like to admit to. Grr. I'm weak. If you feel bad for me, call me instead. Or have me call you. whatever.

BTW: THIS IS AN OFFICIAL NOTICE: I am in search of a gay friend. He must be interested in shopping, men, men, and must ask me every day if I've lost weight. I will do the same for him. Apply NOW and receive a FREE alarm clock.