Dear all,

I take this opportunity to apologise for the swearing in my previous post. It was not necessary, yet incredibly relaxing to get it out in "open air".

I've also realised that everything I have written up until now has been quite a waste of space. I happened upon a few other blogs on my way to rant here, and after reading them, realise that I haven't quite been living up to my claim of being intelligent. If I were, I would have ranted less, used better vocabulary and tried to focus on having a point. I apologise yet again. And now, I will continue with my previous wit, charm and stupidity. Excuse me.

Now, let's see. What happened yesterday after my rant... well, I spoke briefly with Juan, who asked why I was so damn tired, and upon hearing the answer (an hour and a half of yoga, to be followed by an hour of aerobics) started giggling uncontrollably. And for quite some time. So of course, I asked him why. Supposedly, he can't ever imagine me doing yoga. For those who don't know, I've been practising yoga for about 7 years and enjoy it immensely. After he had stopped giggling, he further added that the idea of me practising yoga was as ridiculous as the idea of him on skis. I should mention at this point, for those who didn't understand from his name, that Juan is Spanish and has seen snow about 3 times in his life. However, I CAN actually picture him trying to ski. He's fit and willing... I'd give him a chance! However, he didn't seem any less amused when I pointed that out to him. I suppose he finds me too paranoid and psychotic to think of me trying to project the aura of a tree while in the same position. Maybe I am, but as far as I'm concerned, it only greatens my projection of the forementioned charm and wit!

I caught Steve online late evening. I must mention that Steve has got to be the cleanest male in Leeds - not only does he spend most of his time relaxing in suds, but he also spends quite a bit of time washing after falling into ponds. I must actually thank him for his wonderful Short Version of his meander in to Shropshire for a wedding. Most amusing. I had the most heartfelt laugh in ages as he told me all about traveling between Liverpool (was it really?) and a castle in the middle of nowhere. Also amusing was his account of the trip home, transporting a 16 year old and a 17 y.o. back to Leeds. I had to ask him if he thought I was as unbearable... upon which we now have to plan to, at some point, spend 3 hours in a car together. I'm not quite sure I'm looking forward to it as his taste in music is, at times, slightly odd.
We also managed to have a disagreement about "The North". Apparently, the fact that I once accused him of living amongst the sheep has only heightened his opinion that I am an ignorant fool, who believes that the north is the armpit of England. All I have said is that I don't want to go there for uni - I would actually try living there! Just not in this precious time of youth when I'd like to live near family and friends... not Steve. That could be scary if I did that. Anywho, I've pointed out that he'll have to come visit me in Southampton, to which he said that Estonia is closer. I am duly expecting his arrival soon!

I also managed to get in to a fight with Tuuli, because I think she is being ridiculous and selfish. We won't mention the fact that I do the same all the time, only in slightly smaller gulps. I can't understand why she is in a mood ALL the time... unless this men thing is bothering her again. Of course, if she'd only say what was bothering her, we could help... but she doesn't know! And my point is that what you don't know won't bother you. Or something like that. I don't know. I think she should call whoever and say everything she has to say, because if she intends to keep on in this manner, she's going to be jealous of his job for the rest of their time together. He will go on, unwittingly believing she loves him. I guess life is tough.

My love life is still non-existant. I did hope that after this summer things would sway in the other direction, but according to Madame Madonna, my palm reader, my love life won't actually exist until next year. Which is ruddy excellent. GRR. The only reason I mind is that, right now, not a person cares about my emotional well-being. Yes, friends.. but they're quite a different matter. A relationship is friendship, but with no emotional fuckwittage. Actually, in 2 minutes, I'm going to know I'm wrong, but I'll savour the moment now, thinking I have a definition for what I'm looking for.
I'M NOT THAT UGLY. AND I'M RELATIVELY INTERESTING. AND I'M QUITE FRIENDLY. AND FUNNY. AND CHARMING. Why haven't I happened upon Mr. Wrong? I could understand no Mr. Right Now's, but no Mr.Wrong's? How is that possible? Obviously, it is. Because it's happened. I guess all I need is a kick in the arse and a clue that someone might like me. I'd feel just the tidbit better about myself.

Right, I have cleaning and laundry to do. I also have to prepare for the Bocelli concert tonight, it will probably rain, but hopefully will be a relatively successful means of concentrating on something else other than life for a change.

Muah muchacho's,

Heili